Bubbaworld

Trials are sometimes like boxing matches in which each fighter lands some punches, takes some punches, ties up the opposing fighter in clinches, back peddles, charges, bobs and weaves, all while looking to at least score points if not an outright knockout. The trial of Donald D. Thompson was like a boxing match.

In its corner the prosecution had former courthouse employees, police officers, forensic technicians, jurors and witnesses at trials in Thompson’s court.

In its corner the defense had Thompson himself, a personal friend of Thompson, a district attorney, lawyers that had cases in Thompson’s courtroom and jurors.

And like the microphone that hangs over the fight ring there was the ‘penis pump, hanging over the trial both figuratively and at times literally.

From the defense opening statement, through the trial and through the closing defense statement the defense’s one-two punch was based on ‘he wouldn’t do it’ and ‘he couldn’t do it, since the penis pump is broken and doesn’t work’.

The prosecution used a stick-and-jab attack, with witness after witness testifying to either seeing or hearing the judge ‘do it’. An OSBI technician testified to finding ‘fluids’ on one of Thompson’s robes and other places in his courtroom and office. Fluids which DNA testing linked to Thompson.

The defense landed a solid punch when Pat Hale, a friend of Thompson’s testified that the penis pump in evidence was in fact the one which he gave Thompson as a gag gift on Thompson’s 55th birthday and that when he gave it to Thompson that it was broken, missing parts and would not work at all.

As with many boxing matches the fight ebbed and flowed, first for one side and then the other. It was apparent that no one had a clue as to how this match would be resolved until the final round, closing statements.

Lead defense attorney Clark Brewster scored well with a one-two punch in closing statements. He pointed out that seminal fluids were found only on one of Thompson’s black judicial robes. He also went to extremes to toss his big punch, that being that the penis pump in evidence and sitting on a table before the jury did not work. He even picked it up, squeezed its handles and said:

“See, it does not work. This is a joke, a bad joke.”

Special prosecutor Pattye High then threw some punches of her own and staggered the defense when she showed jurors that Thompson’s judicial robe that had tested positive for seminal fluids also had pockets that had been slit and the judge could gain access to his crotch area without lifting the robe. Defense attorney Brewster vigorously objected to High’s demonstration but Judge C. Allen McCall overruled Brewster.

Then High threw the biggest punch of the trial, when after removing her jacket, she picked up the penis pump introduced into evidence early in the trial and told the members of the jury:

“You have been told by the defense this pump is broken. Well it is not broken.”

At that point High placed the end of the plastic cylinder that allegedly had contained Thompson’s penis to her arm and squeezed the handles of the pump and the vacuum created began to suck the skin of her arm into the device.

High then dramatically dropped the pump-handle portion of the device and the penis pump which the defense contended throughout the trial was ‘broken, missing parts and would not work at all’ dangled from High’s arm, held in place by the suction alone, as audible gasps from spectators in the courtroom broke the silence.

High then told the jurors:

“When you get in the jury room, if you don’t believe me, then glove up and try it.”

The last thing the jury saw before beginning their deliberation was the so-called broken penis pump dangling from High’s arm.

High’s punch was not a knockout in the literal sense, but it was certainly a figurative knockdown, one which left the defense reeling like a beaten prize fighter who hasn’t a clue what hit him or from where it came.

Commentary and Opinion

While the prosecution, especially Pattye High, deserves credit for ‘out lawyering’ the defense, the biggest question arising from this trial is why and how the defense let itself be blind sided regarding the penis pump itself. It doesn’t take a genius, a forensic scientist or even an expert on penis pumps to pick one up and ‘pump it up’ to determine if it is functional.

Either the defense failed to conduct such a simple test or it was hoping that no one else would do so. Clearly the defense was unprepared for Special Prosecutor High to put on a demonstration for the jury. A demonstration that totally demolished all claims the defense had made for years regarding the pump and claims which were a center piece of the defense trial strategy.

That the defense offered objections to High’s demonstrations involving both the judicial robe and penis pump is a given. That the judge overruled those objections is understandable and that defense attorney Brewster wanted one minute to rebut High’s dramatic demonstration of the pump was no surprise, as he had just seen his entire defense flatted by a woman with a penis pump dangling from her arm. Judge McCall denied Brewster’s request for a ‘one minute rebuttal’ and justifiably so. What could Brewster have done, rushed over and yanked the penis pump from High’s arm while yelling, “See, see. It doesn’t work!”?

Defense attorney Brewster has indicated in media reports that he intends to request a new trial or appeal Thompson’s conviction to a higher court. If by chance a new trial is granted, Brewster might wish to refrain from building his defense on the theory that the penis pump is broken and doesn’t work. Otherwise he may once again be confronted by a woman with a penis pump dangling from her arm and a group of jurors ‘gloving up’ to conduct their own tests…